I love my Facebook friends. Many of them are poets, teachers, lovers of poetry, or people who simply love words and their evocative power. Quite a few of them are people I've never met face to face; we've become comrades of the written word through a social network. I'm not afraid to ask their advice or to solicit constructive criticism when working on a poem, and they always come through for me. I've done this a couple of times just in this past month, and the result is that new poems are flowing out of me after an unusually long period of writer's block. My friends help me when I need them, and they help me even when I don't think I need them.
Contrastingly, I recently "met" a fellow poet through the internet whose opposition to advice and constructive criticism frankly confounds me. It has been my experience that when a poet reaches out to a colleague and sends him some of his work, it is because he wants feedback—but in this particular case, I assumed wrongly. Not only did this poet reject my well-meaning suggestions, but wrote me quite bluntly that they were not appreciated—nor were the suggestions of yet another colleague, who apparently made the same assumption I did about well-meaning, supportive collaboration.
To say that I was bewildered, even shaken, by this reaction is an understatement. But we all have different ways of working, different ways of growing; and perhaps, contrary to what Donne wrote, being an island has its good points. For me, though, I need the eyes, ears, and objectivity of others to help me grow as a poet and as a person. I am truly grateful for any help that my friends so kindly give me.
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