Succumbing to Emoticons

     Facebook can be a minefield. I've learned this the hard way. Actually, it's not just Facebook, it's any communication through the written word, especially "fast-food" versions, otherwise known as social networks. Twitter can be equally precarious.

     What I mean is, what you write, particularly in haste, can so easily be misconstrued and the person you are writing to so easily offended. With handwritten letters and even email, there is a certain luxury of leisure in which you may think a bit more while writing so as to express yourself clearly and accurately. Conversely, as too often happens given today's technology and faster pace, you are more likely to post/comment on Facebook or tweet on Twitter via handheld gadget and while out and about in public, greatly decreasing the possibility for careful thought before writing. But even in the calmer atmosphere of home, posting/commenting/tweeting is too often done haphazardly, with little consideration as to how things are expressed and how they may be interpreted. Consequently, the reader can take things the wrong way, respond in kind, even unfriend or block you, and you are left bewildered and even indignant that what you wrote could be so misconstrued.

     Enter the emoticon. When I first began tweeting and Facebooking, I held emoticons in deep disdain and was annoyed at the very sight of them. True to my nature, the more I saw them scattered about my screen the more I resisted using them. Words, I maintained, chosen with discrimination, would suffice to communicate clearly.

     Unfortunately, what I have discovered over time is that I am the kind of person who needs to think not once, not twice, but many times, and long and hard, before I type and press "Enter." I read something a friend has written on Facebook and I enter a comment that may be a kneejerk response, without pausing to think that I may be offending my friend. Then, also true to my nature, I spend the next several hours in genuine remorse, wishing I hadn't written so hastily and thoughtlessly.

     I finally have to admit that emoticons, abhorrent as they are to me, do indeed prevent a great deal of misunderstanding. The mere presence of a ☺takes away hidden, unintentional stings so that harmony may prevail. The emoticon is the written equivalent of the American South's ubiquitous expression "bless her heart," which can soften even the most bald-faced insult ("she looks like a beached whale in that dress, bless her heart").

     All that said, I steadfastly refuse to use the word "heart" as a verb. "Love" in any language is the most beautiful, if also often misused, word in the world. Besides, loving involves much more than the heart.