Niles Crane's Greatest Lines: Season Nine

All quotes were lifted from the DVDs and have been checked multiple times for accuracy.

"Don Juan in Hell"

NILES:  Gone is the citified dandy of just last week! In his place stands a feral Caliban, a sandy-bottomed Dionysus, a lusty, insatiable—ooh, scones.

++++++++

NILES: (to DAPHNE )  Roz told me about this wonderful nude beach. So I went down there this morning to check it out for us. It was so peaceful, I decided to do my sunrise tai-chi, have my naked body caressed by the rosy fingers of the new dawn, you know.
MARTIN:  Aw, geez ...
NILES:  Well, I left my clothing and my cares in the car, walked down to the beach and settled in for my first exercise, "Grasping the Bird's Tail." Just at that moment, the sun peaked over the mountain tops, illuminating not only my splendid nakedness, but the bus for the Christian Women's Society.
MARTIN:  They went to a nude beach?
NILES:  No, and neither did I. The next few minutes were a blur as I zigzagged my way back to the car while being pelted with driftwood and bibles. Needless to say, "Island Niles" died on that beach.
DAPHNE:  Oh, honey ... will he ever be back?
NILES:  Maybe at Christmas.

"The First Temptation of Daphne"

NILES:  (trying to contain his anger)  You have violated this person's privacy. If she found out, they could suspend my license—
DAPHNE:  (crying)  I'm so sorry—
NILES:  —and you—don't—trust me. How could you possibly think there could be somebody else?
DAPHNE:  Because I  was somebody else.
NILES:  What?
DAPHNE:  You were married to two other women while you claimed to have been in love with me. Now that we're together, how can I be sure, really sure, that there won't ever be another "somebody else"?
NILES:  Because I would never—  (He looks at DAPHNE and sees the pain and doubt in her eyes. He moves towards her and continues gently.) Because this time it's different. Our love is different. It's not based on somebody's expectations, or—or anything I'm supposed to be. When I was with Maris or with Mel, I found myself thinking about you. Going about my day, or—even when I was in a session—I found myself thinking about you. Well, now we're together. I find myself thinking about you. It's not going to stop. (DAPHNE puts her arms around him and they embrace) I'm still mad at you.
DAPHNE: (smiling to herself ) I know.

"Love Stinks"

FRASIER:  Niles—do you think I'm elitist?
NILES:  (soothingly) Of course I do; you needn't worry about that.

++++++++

MARTIN:  Oh, look! A picture of you in your first Little League uniform. (beat ) Don't know why I said "first."
DAPHNE:  (to NILES ) Was that your game face?
NILES:  Oh, no, no, I-I just lost a tooth due to an errant pitch.
MARTIN:  Tell her who was pitching.
NILES:  (sheepishly) I was.

"Bla-Z-Boy"

FRASIER:  (to NILES, referring to MARTIN ) Ever since our so-called anniversary, he keeps insisting on—
NILES:  Whoa, whoa, whoa—what does your anniversary have to do with this?
FRASIER:  Well, I guess it just set me off. It was as though everyone was saying that ... the only significant relationship I'll ever have again is with my father.
NILES:  So you're not mad at Dad. You're just mad he isn't a woman.

"The Two-Hundredth Episode"

NILES:  Do you know you have your pajamas on backwards?
FRASIER:  Another delightful quirk of mine.
NILES:  Not from where I'm sitting.

"Bully for Martin"

FRASIER:  I mean, after all, this is a man who served his country in Korea, who had a distinguished career as a detective, and yet he is being treated the way you would treat a-a grocery store bag boy.
NILES:  What does that  mean?
FRASIER:  Oh, don't you play coy with me, just because Daphne's here. I have seen you when your avocadoes are packed under your ice cream!
NILES:  Excuse me! That young man was on drugs, and everyone in the store knew it.

++++++++

FRASIER:  It's just that all our lives, Dad's been the guy in charge. I just hate to see him powerless like this.
NILES:  Well, how can you call him powerless? The minute you saw him, you ran into a storage closet.
FRASIER:  That's true.
NILES:  You're a grown man. You're still scared of him?
FRASIER:  Well, you're a grown man; you're still scared of him.
NILES:  Yeah, well, at least I have a girlfriend.
FRASIER:  Shut up.

"Mother Load, Part One"

DAPHNE:  Where are we supposed to put all this? I cleared out two drawers. This would fill two closets.
NILES:  Well, we said we'd both bring whatever we needed for any eventuality.
DAPHNE:  Isn't there anything you can leave behind?
NILES:  I don't see how. I have formal, semi-formal, déshabille, wet weather, cold weather, cloudy. I mean, if there's something here you find excessive, jump right in.

"Juvenalia"

ROZ:  First of all, enough with the earrings. Everything doesn't have to be so fancy. Don't get me wrong—jewelry is terrific, but sometimes a woman likes to know that you're paying attention. Mix it up a little. Do something crazy—I mean, totally  out there.
NILES:  Are you talking about scarves?
ROZ:  Okay, let me give you an example. When I was twenty, my boyfriend stole a Doyle's Pub sign for me. We were drunk, and we saw it, and he said, "Hey that's your name on that sign. You should have it." It was spontaneous, and a little dangerous. And very romantic.
NILES:  Spontaneous. And dangerous.  Thanks, Roz. You've given me something to mull over during my herbal wrap.

"The Proposal"

NILES:  I'm afraid I've poured so much emotion into this speech, I don't know if I can say it all without crying.
ROZ:  Oh, that's okay. Women like a man who isn't afraid to shed a few tears.
NILES:  Last time I got all the way through it, I got dehydrated.

++++++++

(FRASIER has just found out that his mother was pregnant with him when she married Martin.)

FRASIER:  Niles, how can you change the subject after this bombshell?! (NILES is silent) You knew?

NILES:  Well ... remember that time I had the chicken pox? Mom told me, to cheer me up.

++++++++

NILES:  Daphne Moon ... will you ... and your beautiful toes ... and your exquisite ankles ... and your precious knees, elbows, and arms, and fingers, and shoulders ... will you marry me?

"War of the Words"

FREDDY:  Uncle Niles, is it true that you walked offstage on the last word of the National Bee?
NILES:  Now, where did you hear that?
FREDDY:  Dad and Grandpa. They said you were one of the best.
NILES:  Well, they exaggerate.
FREDDY:  They said you were just as good as somebody named Kerek.
NILES:  Just  as good? (smiles and shakes his head, bemused) Funny. (beat) Anyway—the story is true. I've never talked about it before, but ... I will, since you also have the "gift." Have a seat. (FREDDY sits down. NILES brings over a stool and sits next to him.) I was, uh, a little younger than you. I'd been winning numerous competitions, but, uh ... I was obsessed with one thing, and one thing only: the National Championship. The time finally came, and there I was, standing on that stage, waiting for the judge to say the final word ... and suddenly, it happened. It all clicked, all the rules—"i" before "e," assimilations, etymologies.They all became one ... and then, became nothing. At that moment, I realized there was no word I couldn't spell. Competitions didn't matter anymore, because I was one with the higher truth that is Spelling. So when the judge said that last word, I simply walked away.
FREDDY:  Didn't you care what people said?
NILES:  Oh, people said a lot of things that weren't true. "He didn't know the word." "He was scared." "Mafia this." No, didn't bother me. 'Cause they couldn't take away what I knew in my heart. You know how to spell. And it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks.

++++++++

SPELLING BEE FATHER:  (referring to Freddy) You don't have to worry about ever seeing him again, son. Chances are, he'll end up in a state school.

(NILES, FRASIER, and FREDDY turn to face him, enraged)

NILES:  How dare you! (to FREDDY ) Can you take him?
FREDDY:  Yeah.
NILES:  Then spell his ass off !

"Frasier Has Spokane"

NILES:  (to DAPHNE ) Maybe later we'll try out my "Wagner for Lovers" CD.

The Scarlet Cupboard

I suppose this is a nod to both Emily Dickinson and Christina Rossetti. I have a predilection for small, slightly quirky, sing-songy poems that are conceits.


There is a scarlet cupboard
     Inside a scarlet room
Whose door is locked
And cracks are sealed:
     A silent, scarlet tomb.

It stands in silent penance
     While days and nights dance by
With lilting or
With ponderous step
     Till earthly time shall die.

Then will its door be opened
     And all its contents known;
The scarlet notes
And scarlet knots
     To judging eyes be shown.


© Leticia Austria 2007

Niles Crane's Greatest Lines: Season Eight

All quotes were lifted from the DVDs and have been thoroughly checked for accuracy.

"The Dish Ran Away with the Spoon"

DAPHNE:  What's left for us in Seattle? Ex-wives, an ex-fiancé, a tangled mess of bitterness and hurt feelings.
NILES:  Yes, but an excellent symphony and world-class dining.
DAPHNE:  Then there's Canada. A fresh start, a chance for adventure.
NILES:  Grizzly bears.

+++++

MEL:  Here's the watch I was going to give you as wedding gift. Please wear it when we're together.
NILES:  It's, uh— (sees something engraved on the watch)
MEL:  Yes, it said "Forever yours." I-I scratched it out with a screwdriver.
NILES:  There's something else crudely carved here, but .... Ah. Well. At least you were able to use that "F" from "Forever."

+++++

NILES:  Pigeons? I don't like pigeons. They have no respect for public art.

"The Bad Son"

DAPHNE:  How are you holding up? Is that spider still around?
NILES:  Oh, I think he's realized he's more afraid of me than I am of him. (panicked) He's not in his corner! He's not in his corner!

"The Great Crane Robbery"

NILES:  Daphne, I know it's difficult. But once she gives me that divorce, we can go anywhere we want—Paris, Florence, Rio—
DAPHNE:  How about my room, to fold laundry?
NILES:  I hear it's lovely this time of year.

+++++

MEL:  At the intermission, invariably, some board member will come over to say hello, and I want you to fly into a jealous rage and throw a drink at him.
NILES:  That is unthinkable! I have a reputation in this town, and nothing will make me behave that way.
MEL:  Well, it looks like we're going to be married for a long, long time.
NILES:  (taking a moment to consider, then coolly)  I'll see you at Schwanda der Dudelsackpfeiffer.

"Taking Liberties"

FERGUSON:  Sherry, Dr. Crane?
NILES:  Oh, thank you, Ferguson, but even as we speak I have a bottle of Veuve Cliquot chilling in my apartment, and you know the old caution: "Champagne after sherry makes tummy grow wary!"

"The Friend"

MARTIN:  Hope Eddie wasn't a lot of trouble.
NILES:  Please, Dad, he was the perfect houseguest.
MARTIN:  Well, give me the details. Did he eat?
NILES:  Oh, like a horse!
MARTIN:  Slept well?
NILES:  Like a log!
MARTIN:  Was he regular?
NILES:  We're done here, Dad.

"Cranes Unplugged"

DAPHNE:  You always smell so masculine after you've finished exercising.
NILES:  Oh. (suavely)  It's the mango-kiwi shower gel.

"Motor Skills"

FRASIER:  Now, now, ladies—Niles and I are no strangers to the automobile. Niles, let's have a look. I'll pop the hood.
NILES:  That won't void the warranty, will it?

+++++

FRASIER:  We became back row hooligans, Niles. The very students we hated back in school.
NILES:  I always thought they were just mean. Now I realize they were simply acting out of frustration.
FRASIER:  So when Billy Kriezel tried to stuff you into your locker after math class, he wasn't really mad at you. He was mad at Pythagoras.
NILES:  Which is ironic, because a simple volume equation would have shown him I couldn't fit.

"Hooping Cranes"

FRASIER:  Gosh, Niles, you making that basket tonight was truly astonishing. And what's even more unbelievable is that you are now the proud owner of a rugged, ram-tough, all-terrain pickup truck!
NILES:  It occurred to me we could use it to go antique-ing.

"Daphne Returns"

PATIENT:  So you don't think I have a germ phobia?
NILES:  Not at all. Just a healthy sense of personal hygiene. Ah— (handing the patient a card)  Here is the number of the man who cleans my telephones.

+++++

NILES:  Actually, wait, Daphne. I-I'm gonna pass on dinner.
DAPHNE:  Oh, it's no trouble.
NILES:  No, I know. It's just that ... I don't really care for your cooking.
DAPHNE:  What?
NILES:  Well ... you're not the best cook in the world. In fact, you're not very good at cooking—at all. Bad, bad cook!

+++++

NILES:  Well, then I don't know what you want! I can't read minds, you know, and by the way, neither can you!
DAPHNE:  Are you saying you don't think I'm psychic?
NILES:  Not if you thought I loved your cooking!

+++++

FRASIER:  So how are things with you and Daphne, hm?

(NILES  only smiles)

FRASIER:  (to the waiter) Thank you. (beat) Niles, is everything okay?

(NILES merely looks at him, still smiling)

FRASIER:  (with the light of understanding) Ah.
NILES:  You know the best part, Frasier? It wasn't at all like I imagined it.

"Semi-Decent Proposal / A Passing Fancy"

NILES:  You know, if anyone's technologically challenged, it's you.
FRASIER:  (to CLAIRE ) He's a bit defensive.

(FRASIER says something to CLAIRE in German, to which she responds in German) 

NILES:  You thought your CD-Rom drive was a cup holder.

(CLAIRE  moves away)

FRASIER:  Thanks a lot! I was interested in her!

NILES:  Well, how was I supposed to know?

FRASIER:  I was speaking German.

NILES:  Oh, yes. The language of love.



A Singer's Farewell

     This is an early poem, written before I ever heard of syllabics. I simply liked the comfortable length of ten-syllable lines, and found that they suited a conversational style. Seven-syllable lines were also very comfortable, but felt more "verse-like" than conversational. Some years later I discovered that this technique of adhering to a certain number of syllables, but without using formal meter, was widely used and had an actual name.

     Saying goodbye to my dream of becoming an opera singer—indeed, to my voice, period—was not nearly as difficult as it would seem. I suppose I was never really very "attached" to singing, though I've sung all my life. Daily vocalizing and keeping my technique at its best are no longer the manic obsessions they once were. Nowadays I use my voice, which is only a modest shadow of what it was, to serve as cantor at Mass.

A Singer's Farewell

Never mind; it doesn't really matter.
Such things as were not meant to set the world
on fire, make scant smoke what at last they die.

No, mine was a small, unassuming flame,
just bright and strong enough to glorify
a modest room filled with second-hand chairs.

But change of room can be a world of change,
one flame unchecked alter the horizon,
and "just enough" may one day be too much.

Then reason asks, what does it amount to,
this cleaving to a thing ephemeral?
Only the scant smoke of futility.

Set free, it has become sweeter incense,
an immolation—yes, a holocaust—
but oh-so-slightly dampened by regret;

for I do miss the smaller warmth of old,
that empathetic flame whose color changed
with each song of my mercurial heart.

© Leticia Austria 2006

Saturday Scrap Bag

     Writing:  When new poems, or even the desire to write them, aren't forthcoming, I usually revise. Revising is a creative act, after all, and a craft in itself. It's best done, I think, after a good amount of time has passed since you wrote the last draft of a poem, and since you last read it, even years after; then you can be truly objective. Sometimes it happens that, when you do finally read it again, a kind of horror fills you, and an involuntary "Yech!" escapes your lips. That's happened more times than I care to admit. But the horror is motivating. So I have been revising, as my previous post attests.

    

     Reading:  Since the 200th anniversary of the publication of Pride and Prejudice  has just passed, I decided to reread it. It's been quite a long while since I last read it, so it's practically fresh to me, even though I've watched the BBC mini-series many times in the interim. On this reading, I find myself comparing Austen's dialogue to Andrew Davies' adaptation of it—the parts of speeches he chose to leave out, the parts he kept word for word—and also the bits of narrative that Davies converted into dialogue. I guess I'm fascinated with the whole adaptation process. What I find amusing, and not in a good way, is when screenwriters claim to want to preserve the "spirit" of a work but, with all their mucking about, trying to make it "fresh" for a modern audience, they actually manage to squash every bit of the spirit out of it, thus defeating their own purpose. They throw period vernacular out the window, and impose all sorts of social, political, and sexual innuendoes on the work that, more often than not, the author never implied. Davies, thankfully, is not one of those writers. He has indeed preserved the spirit of Pride and Prejudice, by respecting Austen's own words and staying as close as possible to them. He lets Austen speak for herself. This is one of the reasons his adaptation has become a true classic.

     Watching:  I never get tired of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.  Like the BBC Pride and Prejudice, the combination of great writing and fine ensemble acting keeps the show fresh. My mother absolutely loves it. Whenever we have a quiet afternoon, there's nothing she likes better than to watch three or four episodes (I have the whole series on DVD). I have almost every episode memorized, but that doesn't diminish my pleasure in the least. So The Mary Tyler Moore Show  will stay in my DVD library, alongside Frasier, as my "go to" TV series.

     Looking:  I've fallen in love with the Copenhagen Interior School of painting. Before I even knew about that school, or the artists belonging to it, I was drawn to the simplicity of composition, domesticity of subject, and muted palette, that characterize it and the artists' work. I particularly love the paintings of Carl Holsøe and Vilhelm Hammershøi.

"Woman in Interior" by Carl Holsøe

 

"The Poetry of Silence" by Vilhelm Hammershøi

 

     Wishing:  Apparently, Punxsutawney Phil didn't see his shadow, so spring will soon be upon us. I was so wishing for a longer winter and more genuinely cold days, anything to postpone what I fear will be another insupportably hot and dry summer. But maybe (God willing) we'll get more rain!



The Way along the Wall

This is an early poem, first drafted when I was a novice, revised a couple of years later. The little sketch was done during one of my many solitary strolls through the monastery grounds. There was a short path along one of the "arms" of the enclosure wall that I particularly loved and called "The Avenue." I wanted to memorialize it in this poem and sketch.

 

The Way along the Wall

"The Avenue" is dapple-most
on ochre afternoons.
Along this path the breezes murmur
their most wistful tunes,
the only sound
save the dry-leafed ground

beneath my feet.  I watch the light
play shyly on the wall,
the longed-for boundary that nestles
those who heed the call
in arms of stone
to be God's own.

I savor this way of wood and wall
that lies so straight, serene,
between the here, the now, the chosen,
and what once had been.
Still—I know that yesterday
is but a dappled wall away.

Poem and sketch © Leticia Austria 2009

Niles Crane's Greatest Lines: Season Seven

All quotes were taken directly from the DVDs and have been checked thoroughly for accuracy.

"Momma Mia"

NILES:  That's not graffiti, Dad; that's a Latin pun: "Semper ubi, sub ubi "—"Always where under where."

"Father of the Bride"

NILES:  Last night after dinner, I dropped her home with nothing more than a courtly kiss on the wrist. Tonight may proceed to hand holding, and if all goes well, in two weeks I shall storm the citadel of her womanhood.

++++++++

FRASIER:  Niles, it's about Sabrina. (beat) She's a prostitute.
NILES: Frasier, I don't like lawyers anymore than you do.

++++++++

FRASIER:  Does Sabrina laugh at everything you say? Is she fascinated  by everything about you—even your collections?
NILES:  Well, yes. Actually, I even showed her my rarely seen collection of eighteenth-century Portuguese bud vases.
FRASIER:  And how did she react?
NILES:  Well, if you must know, she was rather aroused. She said she loved a man who collected porcelain and, oh, my God, I'm dating a whore.

"Radio Wars"

DAPHNE:  Dr. Crane, how do you know it's time to have your crèpe pans seasoned, anyway?
NILES:  It can be confusing, but this may help: "Saucepans in summer, crèpe pans in fall, when winter's upon us, there's food for us all."

++++++++

NILES:  Why didn't you hold the elevator? Didn't you hear me shouting?
FRASIER: That was you? I'm sorry Niles. I was afraid you were trying to get a picture of my butt.
NILES: (beat) How exciting to be present at the birth of a new phobia.

++++++++

MARTIN:  Great. That's fine. Admire him if you want, but did you have to run through the neighborhood in bowler hats? I mean, you were just begging  to get beat up.
FRASIER:  Come to think of it, it was rather a rough summer that year, wasn't it?
NILES: I remember getting a chin strap so the bowler wouldn't fall off when I ran.

"Everyone's a Critic"

NILES:  The pretentious fop who had the job before me was there, too, spouting sheer drivel about Leonard Bernstein. Being polite, I kept my tongue sheathed, until he referred to Bernstein's conducting as "overrated."
FRASIER:  I assume you pounced.
NILES: Like a ninja!

++++++++

NILES:  Well, I wish you had lent her your Tennessee Williams biography. She wouldn't have kept forgetting his name and calling him Indiana Jones.

"The Late Dr. Crane"

FRASIER:  Carbuncle?  You mean that miniscule mole of yours?
NILES:  Well, to you.  I've always been self-conscious about it. I-I've made many a hasty wine selection because I felt the sommelier staring down.

"The Apparent Trap"

FRASIER:  (to NILES and LILITH ) You're willing to throw all that away because of one ill-considered night of passion? It happened! Take from it what you can learn. Move on.
NILES:  Well—I learned if you kiss her too fast, you get an ice-cream headache.

++++++++

DAPHNE:  Beautiful job carving that turkey, Dr. Crane.
NILES:  Well, I picked up a thing or two in medical school. In case you're wondering, this bird appears to have died of a massive head trauma.

++++++++

NILES:  What's this about?
LILITH:  Well, it's about an attraction that I thought was over, and now I'm beginning to think maybe it's not.
NILES:  Usually, in my dreams, this is where I try to run and can't.

"The Fight before Christmas"

NILES:  (coming out of the elevator and seeing ROZ and DAPHNE standing together in the hall ) Well, there's a Christmas tableau: Naughty and Nice.

++++++++

NILES:  It seems our old gardener has passed away unexpectedly.
FRASIER:  Oh, not Yoshi. Gosh, that's too bad.
NILES:  Yeah. He had a heart attack when he was out trimming Maris' elaborate hedge maze. The paramedics never had a chance.

++++++++

NILES:  Maris and Yoshi were very close. In fact, I remember he once made a topiary likeness of her, and wept without shame when it developed root rot.

"RDWRER"

MARTIN:  Oh ... you're not good with big cars, Niles. Remember when I tried to teach you to drive my Le Sabre? You kept panicking and pulling on the emergency brake.
NILES:  Well, it's a good thing I did. Those mailboxes weren't even slowing me down.

++++++++

MARTIN:  I wonder if you can still get "sticky shingles" here.
NILES:  One look at the salad bar says yes.

"They're Playing Our Song"

DAPHNE:  You see, this water traps all the dirt particles instead of recycling them back into the air. I got all that just from Dr. Crane's pillow. (indicating the dirty water)
MARTIN:  Eeew!
NILES:  (to FRASIER ) I've been begging  you to switch to a more abrasive loofah.

"Big Crane on Campus"

FRASIER:  I tried to ask her out and I choked. I did get the impression that she was interested in me, though.
NILES:  Well, of course she is. Oh, and the coach called. You're starting the big game on Sunday.

++++++++

NILES:  Cooking a meal for one's mate is a big first step.
FRASIER:  Yes, especially for you. I mean, Maris never let you cook for her.
NILES:  Mm, that's true. The closest I ever got was restocking the pills in her bedside lazy Susan.

"Out with Dad"

NILES:  May your opera box be full of cellophane crinklers, and the stage swarming with standbys!

"Whine Club"

FRASIER:  Well, Niles, it's the moment of truth. Don't choke.
NILES:  Please. Prepare to be stomped like a late-harvest Gewurtztraminer.

"Hot Pursuit"

MARTIN:  (opening his thermos) This is clam chowder!
NILES:  Well, what did you expect?
MARTIN:  Irish whiskey! Your mother always filled it with coffee and Irish whiskey. We just called it "clam chowder" in front of you kids.
NILES:  Is that why you got so mad that day I crumbled oyster crackers in your thermos?

"Morning Becomes Entertainment"

BEBE:  (taking out a cigarette) May I?
FRASIER:  On the balcony, if you don't mind.
BEBE:  Mind? I don't want a single puff tearing up the baby blues of TV's newest sensation! By this time next week—
NILES:  You heard him; if you're going to blow smoke, do it on the balcony.

"The Three Faces of Frasier"

FRASIER: You know, if I were you, I would be careful about bandying about the word "vain," Mr. Two-Hundred-and-Fifty-Dollar Haircut.
NILES: I have problem follicles.

++++++++

FRASIER:  Now, you'd better finish your lasagna. You don't want to offend Stefano.
NILES:  Offend him? So far tonight, I have had the prosciutto di Parma, the pesto Genovese, and the Venetian sea bass. One more bite, and we'll conclude our little tour of Italy with my impression of Pompeii.

"Something Borrowed, Someone Blue"

DAPHNE:  So, you brought me something, Roz?
ROZ:  Well, yeah, I figured you can't get married without wearing something borrowed. (hands DAPHNE a gift box)
DAPHNE:  (opening the box) Oh, what a beautiful garter! Look at all the lovely detail.
NILES:  I especially like the little odometer.

++++++++

ROZ:  Is there no place I can go without running into some guy I've dated?
NILES:  I was reading about a Trappist monastery in the Amazon that they somehow built into the treetops.

++++++++

NILES:  Daphne—take it from someone who knows. You don't want to spend half your life thinking about a chance you didn't take.