Passeggiata (Stroll)

"Lovers in a Woodland Clearing"
John Atkinson Grimshaw



 

I know there are no pine trees in this lovely painting; still, I thought the image well-suited to this poem, one of my earlier efforts, and the first to be published for a wider audience.

 

Passeggiata (I)
[pah-sed-JAH-ta - the "i" is not pronounced]

 

Walk with me.

The path beckons, winking in the dawnlight,

And the pines' drowsy whisperings call us

To quiet joy.  The sun through the branches

Welcomes our like hearts with perceptive arms

Limpid with the memory of darkness.

Now is our moment of peace.  We are led

On this narrow way through familiar lands

Defined in my mind; for I have mapped out

All my memories in these woods and fields;

Each blade and limb and stone has its country,

And all sing to me of God's sure blessing.

Could He begrudge me your dear company,

Poignant and wistful as the rain lily

I pressed among words of silent longing?

You are here, belovèd, bright in my heart,

Mine alone for this all-too-fleeting joy,

This, my moment of highest fulfillment:

My spirit and yours, walking together,

Hand in hand.

Cammina con me.
Il sentiero accenna, ammiccando nella luce dell'alba,
E il sussurrare sonnolento dei pini si chiama
Alla gioia tranquilla.  Il sole fra i rami
Accoglie i nostri cuori con braccia perspicaci
Limpidi con la memoria del buio.
Ora è il nostro momento di pace.  Siamo condotti
Su questa stretta via attraverso terre familiari
Definite nella mia mente; perché ho mappato
Tutti i miei ricordi in questi boschi e campi;
Ogni filo d'erba e ramo e pietra ha la sua patria,
E tutto canta a me della certa benedizione di Dio.

Potrebbe Lui invidiarmi la tua cara compagnia,
Commovente e malinconica come il giglio selvatico
Da me pressato fra le parole di desiderio silente?
Tu sei qui, adorato, radioso nel mio cuore,
Il mio solo per tutta questa troppo fuggevole gioia,
Questo, il mio momento di maggiore appagamento:
Il mio spirito ed il tuo, a camminare insieme
Mano nella mano.
 

© Leticia Austria 2007
First published in English in The San Antonio Express-News

Italian translation by Federica Galetto, published in La Stanza di Nightingale

 

From My Big Orange Book: Happy Birthday, Emily Dickinson!

 

Going to Him! Happy letter!

Tell Him -

Tell Him the page I didn't write -

Tell Him - I only said the Syntax -

And left the Verb and the pronoun - out -

Tell Him Just how the fingers burned -

Then - how they waded - slow - slow -

And then you wished you had eyes in your pages -

So you could see what moved them so -

 

Tell Him - it wasn't a Practised Writer -

You guessed - from the way the sentence toiled -

You could hear the Boddice tug, behind you -

As if it held but the might of a child -

You almost pitied it - you - it worked so -

Tell Him - No - you may quibble there -

For it would split His Heart, to know it -

And then you and I, were silenter.

 

Tell Him - Night finished - before we finished -

And the Old Clock kept neighing "Day"!

And you - got sleepy -

And begged to be ended -

What would it hinder so - to say?

Tell Him - just how she sealed you - Cautious!

But - if He ask where you are hid

Until tomorrow - Happy letter!

Gesture Coquette - and shake your Head!

 

Thank you, Emily, for expressing in your singular and astonishing way the secrets of the human heart.





Niles Crane's Greatest Lines: Season Two

Other than possible differences in punctuation, the quotes below are guaranteed by me to be accurate. They have been transcribed directly from the DVDs, and have been checked multiple times.

"Slow Tango in South Seattle"

MARTIN: (referring to a photograph)  Why is Maris wearing jodhpurs? She didn't start horseback riding, did she?

NILES: No. She wanted to take it up, but unfortunately her little quadriceps are so tight she's incapable of straddling anything larger than a border collie.

***

MARTIN: Don't tell me this was going on during your  lessons, too?

NILES: No. You'll be relieved to know that while Frasier was getting his Rachmaninoffs, I was actually studying music.

 

"The Unkindest Cut of All"

NILES: Hope you don't mind my stopping by, but Maris is hosting the Women's League senior yoga group, and ... well ... old money in body stockings ... (shudders)

 

"The Matchmaker"

NILES: Dear God, Frasier—Sven, Gunther, Brick? Why not just lather Daphne up with baby oil and hurl her over the wall of a prison yard?

 

"Flour Child"

FRASIER: Get a hold of yourself, Niles!

NILES: I'm sorry; I only did this once before in medical school, and all I remember is a bright light and lots of blood and then a linoleum floor hurtling toward my forehead.

WOMAN IN LABOR: You fainted?!

NILES: Oh, switch places with me, honey, and see how you do!

***

FRASIER: It's perfectly natural to have parental stirrings at your age.

NILES: Oh, no, this is more than stirrings. I wake up nights thinking about it.

FRASIER: Have you talked this over with Maris?

NILES: Not yet. I like to know what I want before Maris tells me.

***

NILES: Last night, I actually had a dream my flour sack was abducted, and the kidnappers started sending me muffins in the mail.

***

FRASIER: Niles, what has happened to your "child"?

NILES: I was practicing my tai chi exercises this morning, and I accidentally kicked him into the reflecting pool. That's when I brought him inside and left him by the hearth to dry.

FRASIER: He caught on fire?

NILES: It was not as careless as you make it seem. After all, a real child would have cried before it burst into flames.

 

"Duke's, We Hardly Knew Ye"

(ROZ is sucking the chocolate off of chocolate covered raisins and spitting the raisins into a cup.)

NILES: I see all those years of finishing school really paid off.

 

"The Candidate"

NILES: (quoting)  "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

FRASIER: Edmund Burke.

NILES: I have that quotation in a frame. I keep meaning to put it up in my office, but I never seem to get around to it.

***

NILES: You know, my wife Maris actually has all our servants down at your campaign headquarters licking envelopes. She'd do it herself, but the poor thing can't produce saliva.

 

"Adventures in Paradise, Part I"

NILES: It is possible to move a relationship along too fast and ultimately marry too hastily. You could find a few years down the line that the person isn't really right for you, and then what happens if you meet the right person, someone who REALLY EXCITES you and makes you feel ALIVE, but you can't ACT upon it because you're TRAPPED in a STALE, albeit comfortable MARIS ... marriage. (beat)  I have to go now.

 

"Adventures in Paradise, Part II"

NILES: When's the happy occasion?

LILITH: Tomorrow, in Las Vegas.

NILES: Oh, Lilith, how delightfully kitschy! It's your second marriage, so you've decided to poke fun at the institution by getting married in the tackiest place you could possibly choose!

LILITH: Brian's family lives in Las Vegas. (beat)

NILES: (trying to be sincere)  Well, isn't that convenient. You'll have someone to show you the museums.

 

"Burying a Grudge"

NILES: (on the phone)  Yes ... yes, Maris, I'm sure .... No ... no, you can't gain weight from a glucose I. V. .... Well ... no, no, my little worrywart, there's no such thing as a NutraSweet drip.

***

NILES: Oh, if anyone needs me, I'll be sleeping at the hospital tonight.

FRASIER: Why?

NILES: Maris' doctor feels it's more soothing for the patient to duplicate the home environment as closely as possible. So I slipped a pearl-handled revolver under her pillow and got myself a room across the hall.

***

FRASIER: I finally got Dad and Artie Walsh talking again. Of course, I did have to resort to some cheap, manipulative, pseudo-psychology.

NILES: Always go to your strengths.

 

"Seat of Power"

NILES: When you think about it, our only mistake today was trying to fix that toilet ourselves.

FRASIER: Yes, we tampered with the natural order of things.

NILES: But now, order has been restored. By hiring a plumber, that plumber can now afford, say, a Dolly Parton album. Ms Parton can then finance a national tour, which will, of course, come to Seattle, allowing some local promoter to make enough money to send his cross-dressing teenage son to us for $150-an-hour therapy.

***

FRASIER: You know the expression "living well is the best revenge"?

NILES: It's a wonderful expression. I just don't know how true it is. You don't see it turning up in a lot of opera plots. "Ludwig, maddened by the poisoning of his entire family, wreaks vengeance on Gunther in the third act by living well."

 

"Roz in the Doghouse"

NILES: Maris is unable to have pets. She distrusts anything that loves her unconditionally.

 

"Retirement is Murder"

FRASIER: Just imagine how excited Dad will be to go to a game with his two sons. My God, it's the archetypal male bonding ritual!

NILES: Couldn't we just go into the woods, kill something, and have done with it?

 

"You Scratch My Book ... "

NILES: I would gladly go, but I've got my compulsive spending seminar, and I was hoping to unload the rest of these raffle tickets.

***

NILES: Watching the sport of kings, I see. Which horse did you wager on?

MARTIN: Joe's Dream, number eight.

NILES: Goodness. He seems to be taking a serene, almost Buddhist, approach to the race.

***

HONEY: I read a wonderful article you wrote in the Journal of Psychiatric Medicine.  Let's see ... "Gestalt Therapy: Probing the Subconscious."

NILES: Yes! And I believe I read your quiz in Cosmo - "Is Your Guy a Stud or a Dud?"

***

FRASIER: I have to tell her I can't write the forward. Oh, Niles ... and I have to say goodbye to the chance of ever sleeping with absolute perfection. Oh, Niles ... where, oh, where ... will I ever have the chance again to ... to gaze upon such extraordinarily proud and ... supple breasts?

NILES: (soberly)  Not to worry, brother. That's the manager's special at Farmer Jack's Chicken, Chicken, Chicken.

 

"The Show Where Sam Shows Up"

MARTIN: Hey, Niles, why didn't you bring Maris tonight?

NILES: I'm supposed to ask Maris to spend an evening with a baseball player? Why don't I just ask her to rub my shoulders?

***

NILES: Is it my imagination, or is Sam flirting with Daphne?

FRASIER: Well, of course he's flirting with her. He flirts with everybody. He can't help it; he's a sexual compulsive. But he's getting help for it in a support group.

NILES: (hearing Daphne giggle in the kitchen)  Did he miss a meeting?!

***

FRASIER: Oh, my God, I slept with that woman three months ago.

ROZ: You slept with her?

FRASIER: Yes.

NILES: On what desert island with no hope of rescue was this??

***

FRASIER: Did you see how she ran out of here the minute she saw me?

NILES: Ah, yes. The trademark of all  your bed mates.

 

"Daphne's Room"

MARTIN: Well, when your mother would get mad at me, I'd just grab her, bend her backwards, and give her a kiss that made her glad she was a woman.

NILES: I can't do that with Maris. She has abnormally rigid vertebrae. She'd snap like a twig.

 

"The Club"

FRASIER: I don't think the membership committee would look kindly on your being arrested for mooning President Nixon at the campaign rally.

NILES: I was young and firm and in love with an anarchist.

***

FRASIER: I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. This is my brother, Dr. Niles Crane, the eminent psychiatrist.

NILES: My brother is too kind. He was already eminent when my eminence was merely imminent.

***

NILES: My only excuse is that all my life I have dreamed of belonging to an exclusive club like the Empire. Even as a child, when I formed clubs with my teddy bears, there were always two or three who didn't make the cut.

 

"Someone to Watch over Me"

FRASIER: It's not like I'm nominated for a Seebee every year. Oh, wait a minute -- yes, it is!

NILES: Well, as some illustrious person once said, "Popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity."

FRASIER: You just made that up, didn't you?

NILES: Yes, but I stand by it.

***

FRASIER: Dad, she's not a weirdo. She's just a woman who finds me utterly fascinating.

NILES: And the distinction would be ... ?

***

BODYGUARD: (to FRASIER)  By the way, Dr. Crane, I'll need to know your blood type, location of the nearest trauma center, and a list of any family member who'd be willing to donate organs.

NILES: Just so you know, Frasier, I have unusually small kidneys.

 

"Breaking the Ice"

NILES: What an odd combination of odors. It smells like a fish died and all the other fish sent flowers.

***

NILES: That was amazing! I've never felt so in touch with nature!

MARTIN: What happened?

NILES: For the first time in my life, I just urinated outdoors!

***

FRASIER: Want to know the reason I came up here? It was just to hear [Dad] say the words "I love you."

NILES: What?!

FRASIER: Yeah, well, you know, he ... he said it to Duke, he said to to Eddie. He's never said it to me.

NILES: Surely you don't put yourself up there with Eddie?

***

FRASIER: Well, I mean, you know that Maris loves you, right? But it's still nice to hear it.

NILES: I imagine it would be, but let's stick to attainable goals.

 

"An Affair to Forget"

NILES: I turned around, walked out of the house, got in the car and started driving.

FRASIER: Well, I'm glad you ended up here.

NILES: Actually, I ended up at the Oregon border check. I had fruit in the car, so I had to turn back.

***

FRASIER: You know, Niles, Maris may have temporarily succumbed to Gunnar's Teutonic charms, but in the end, I'm sure she'll choose the man who's intelligent and sensitive.

NILES: Oh, Frasier. That's just something we used to tell ourselves in chess club.

 

"Agents in America III"

(The morning after FRASIER and BEBE have spent the night together.)

FRASIER: All right, just go ahead. Get your shots in.

NILES: No, no. I'm just glad you're all right. I would have assumed she killed after mating.

 

"The Innkeepers"

NILES: Well, instead of individual soufflés, make one large soufflé and dish the portions out at the table. When people hear the name Niles Crane, I want them to think "big soufflé."

 

"Dark Victory"

NILES: (enraged)  You spoke to a patient of mine today -- Caroline. As a result of your fast-food approach to psychiatry, she left me!

FRASIER: Caroline was your patient? I ...

NILES: Two years of my hard work, wiped out by one of your two-minute McSessions!

***

ROZ: I was in college. I was trying to find myself.

NILES: All you had to do was look under the nearest man.















Just 'Cuz I Love It

"The Reader"
Emily Bobovnikoff



Unrequited

It will not come to dust, of that I'm sure;
for now it is embalmed, eternally
suspended, like the mythic moth made pure
within its amber flame, whose worth will be
in death what quickening breath cannot convey.
Of little consequence, that I have paid
the price of heavy years, if it might stay
preserved forever.  Nature's hand has made
its gems from silent ends, and it will make
a million more, as long as loves may die
unrealized; and, grieving, it may slake
their thirst with resin tears in which they'll lie
as relics ever incorrupt.  What cost,
then, but the wood predestined to be lost?

First published (in slightly altered form) in Decanto
© Leticia Austria 2010

Niles Crane's Greatest Lines: Season One



     This is a blog series, brought to you by possibly the most devoted  Frasier fanatic on the planet: yours truly. There are too many brilliant lines spoken by every character in the show, so I have limited this series to my favorite character, Niles, and will categorize the quotes by season and in episodic order, because I'm just obsessive-compulsive that way (like Niles). 
     It bothers me when I see things misquoted, so I have tried to be as accurate as possible in reproducing the quotes on this page, relying on what I hear on the DVDs and checking what I hear against the closed captions, which are, except in a relatively few instances, pretty faithful. I have the book The Frasier Scripts, which I've consulted whenever possible, but the book only covers seasons 1 through 6 and has only a few scripts from each of those seasons. Also, many lines in those chosen scripts were altered or cut completely before final filming. Some episodes were even renamed. So, on the whole, I've gone with what's on the DVDs.

 

Pilot: "The Good Son"

FRASIER:  Yes, yes, I know what you think about everything. When was the last time you had an unexpressed thought?



NILES:  I'm having one now.



***



FRASIER:  Niles, I don't know how to thank you. I feel the overwhelming urge to hug you.



NILES:  Remember what Mom always said. A handshake is as good as a hug.



 

"Space Quest"

FRASIER:  Well, thanks for the chat, Niles. You're a good brother and a credit to the psychiatric profession.

NILES:  You're a good brother, too. (long beat.)

 

"Dinner at Eight"

FRASIER:  Remember when you used to think that the 1812 Overture was a great piece of classical music?

NILES:  Was I ever that young?

***

NILES:  But can we really get in? I've been trying for months.

FRASIER:  Oh, please, Niles. You're forgetting the cachet my name carries in this town.

NILES:  Actually, I'm not. If the maître d' happens to be a housewife, we're in.

***

NILES:  Maris means the world to me. Why, just the other day, I kissed her for no reason whatsoever.

***

NILES:  I'd like a petite filet mignon, very lean. Not so lean that it lacks flavor, but not so fat that it leaves drippings on the plate; and I don't want it cooked, just lightly seared on either side, pink in the middle—not true pink, but not a mauve, either—something in between, bearing in mind the slightest error either way, and it's ruined.

 

"I Hate Frasier Crane"

NILES:  Hello, I don't believe we've met.

ROZ:  Yes, we have, Niles. Three or four times. Roz Doyle.

NILES:  Oh, of course! It was at the, uh .... It was during the, uh .... Oh, well, I'm far too successful to feel awkward. Where did we meet?



 

"Beloved Infidel"

FRASIER:  Doesn't it bother you that your father cheated on my mother?!

NILES:  Frasier, your loyalties are seeping through. And I might point out that I got Mom's small features while you got Dad's chunky thighs.

 

"Selling Out"

NILES:  Have you seen that movie? Maris and I rented the video. I don't mind telling you, we pushed our beds together that  night. And that was no mean feat. Her room, as you know, is across the hall.

 

"Oops"

NILES:  I really have to go. I'm conducting a seminar on multiple personality disorders, and it takes me forever to fill out the name tags.

 

"The Crucible"

FRASIER:  I hate lawyers!

NILES:  Oh, me, too. But they make wonderful patients. They have excellent health insurance, and they never get better.
 



"Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast"

NILES:  Dad, I was wondering if you'd be interested in joining Maris and me Friday night. We're dying to try the new rib joint that's opened on Bellevue Way. I understand that if the onion rings aren't as big as your head, you get them for free.

 

"You Can't Tell a Crook by His Cover"

NILES:  Certainly playing fast and loose with his tips, for a man who drives a van.

***

FRASIER:  You know Dad—he's so judgmental.

NILES:  I know, and I've always condemned him for it.

***

FRASIER:  You're being irrational.

NILES:  Don't you dare call me irrational! You know that makes me crazy!

***

NILES:  I'm not without resources. My tae kwon do instructor tells me I'm just two moves away from being quite threatening.

***

NILES:  Excuse me. Has a young woman been in here this evening, approximately five foot nine and three quarters, with skin the color of Devonshire cream, and the sort of eyes that gaze into one's soul with neither artifice nor evasion?





"A Midwinter Night's Dream"

NILES:  How could she like him? The man has community college written all over him.

 

"Give Him the Chair"

NILES:  (entering a showroom filled with recliners)  Dear God, Frasier, we've stumbled upon Hell's waiting room.

***

NILES:  (trying out a recliner with Swedish massage and shiatsu)  Ooohhh .... I never knew a chair could be this satisfying. I never knew that anything could. I want it.

FRASIER:  Right, Niles. I'm sure that it would fit right in with all of Maris' eighteenth-century antiques.

NILES:  Well, then, I'll just rent it an apartment and visit it on the side.

 

"Fortysomething"

FRASIER:  (playing a Beethoven sonata on the piano) That's strange. For the life of me, I can't remember what the next note is. I know this piece backward and forward.

NILES:  Perhaps if you start at the end, you'll have better luck.

***

DAPHNE:  I learned a long time ago there are three questions you never answer honestly: "how old do I look," "do you like my hair," and "was it good for you, too." Coming, Dr. Crane? (beat)  Dr. Crane?

NILES:  I'm sorry, I was someplace else. (beat)  It was a warm and friendly place.

 

"Travels with Martin"

NILES:  Those were awful, those family driving vacations. Dad insisting on covering as many miles as possible in a day, the two of us tiny hostages in the back seat, clutching our car sickness bags, straining to see something out the window as the landscape whizzed by—I was thirteen before I realized cows aren't blurry.

***

NILES:  That's it—I'm going to be arrested.

DAPHNE:  We're all getting arrested.

NILES:  Yes, but I have delicate features. Prison will be hell for me.

 

"Author, Author"

NILES:  All my life I have dreamed of one thing: the day I could go to the library, go to the card catalogue, and see my name under "Mental Illness."

***

FRASIER:  Niles, I would shave my head for you.

NILES:  A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year.

***

FRASIER:  I do not have a fat face!

NILES:  Oh, please, I keep wondering how long you're going to store those nuts for winter!

 

"Frasier Crane's Day Off"

NILES:  Hello. This is Dr. Niles Crane filling in for my ailing brother, Dr. Frasier Crane. Although I feel fully qualified to fill Frasier's radio shoes, I should warn you that while Frasier is a Freudian, I am a Jungian. So there'll be no blaming Mother today!

 

"My Coffee with Niles"

DAPHNE:  Well, at least someone appreciates my mother tongue.

NILES:  Yes, I've always had an ear for your tongue.

***

NILES:  Why did you have to hire Venus herself? Couldn't you find some beefy eastern European scrub woman who reeked of ammonia?

FRASIER:  Well, I asked, but it was an Olympic year. The agency was fresh out.

NILES:  Frasier, I can't get her out of my mind. When I look at Daphne, she stirs a passion in me I've never known before.

***

ROZ:  But he pretended he was going to ask me out. Now, isn't there a commandment against that?

NILES:  No, they didn't go into dating until the New Testament.



Saturday at the Opera: In an Old Studio

I wrote this poem in 2009 as an homage to my coaching studio at Houston Grand Opera. The wonderful Joyce DiDonato (who knew my studio very well!) kindly published it a couple of years ago on her blog (I've since changed a couple of punctuations and added a break in the middle of the poem), so that is its credited "first appearance"—very appropriate, don't you think?

In an Old Studio

There used to be a piano in this room,
a mid-size grand, whose lid was always strewn
with scores of Verdi and Rossini. 
On the walls hung photos of the Tuscan hills,
a poster of a street in old Milan—
they've left their imprint, ghostly squares against
the graying of the years—and on this spot,
a music stand held up the legacy
of genius waiting to be issued forth
through chosen throats.
                                             Be still a minute. Listen.
Distant phrases of a long-lost life
will breathe across your brow and tell the tale
of striving for sublime exactitude,
of discipline and repetition, of
the just dissatisfaction with an end
that's less than art. Then close your eyes to touch
the keys that are no longer there, and you
will hear the splendor that was crafted in
this room, and leave it with the cadences
of ancient passions sighing in your soul.

© Leticia Austria 2009