25 April 2013

Marco Praga: The Ideal Wife (Part One)

THE IDEAL WIFE  (LA MOGLIE IDEALE)
A comedy in three acts by Marco Praga
Translated from the Italian © by Leticia Austria

to Eleonora Duse

Cast of characters:
ANDREA CAMPIANI, stockbroker
GIULIA, his wife
GIANNINO, their 7-year-old son
GUSTAVO VELATI, lawyer
COSTANZO MONTICELLI, his associate
TERESA, the Campiani's maid
ETTORE, servant

Milan. The last decade of the 19th century.

ACT I
The dining room of the Campiani's home. Doors US, L, R. Dining table DL, obviously the end of the evening meal. At R, by the door, a fireplace, lit. Three chairs placed in front of it as well as a chaise longue. US, L of the door, a credenza upon which are plates, bottles, flasks, etc. the furnishings are elegant and in good taste. It is evening. Over the table hangs a lamp, lit.

Scene 1   
GIULIA, ANDREA, GIANNINO, TERESA
 
(Giulia is lying on the chaise longue surrounded by illustrated fashion magazines. Giannino sits at the dining table, a cushion placed on his chair so that he may sit higher. Andrea sits across from him. Enter Teresa, US, with the coffee service. She pours out a cup and hands it to Giulia.)

GIULIA     No coffee just now. Perhaps later. Keep it hot.  (Teresa pours a cup for Andrea, who is reading the paper. Giulia turns to Giannino, who has been drumming his knife on his plate.)  Giannino dear, Mamma will get angry if you continue that racket.
GIANNINO     (Kneeling on his chair.)  Papa!
ANDREA     What is it you want?
GIANNINO     An apple.
ANDREA     Another?
GIULIA     No, Giannino, you've had enough fruit.
GIANNINO     I've only had one.
ANDREA     Well, have another, then -- a small one.  (He gives Giannino an apple. Giannino begins to peel it with his knife.)  Take care, you'll cut yourself! Come here.  (Giannino climbs off his chair and gives the apple to his father.)  There.  (Giannino takes it and turns to leave the room.)  Are you off to play now? Give me a kiss first.  (Giannino obliges.)  And what about your mother?
GIULIA     (Hugging Giannino.)  Darling! Have you done your school work? But you haven't yet learned your lessons! All right; go and play for a bit, then you'll study, won't you?  (Giannino exits US with Teresa.)  This last issue of Figaro  is marvellous; have you seen it? What are you doing? Reading?
ANDREA     Just checking the market.
GIULIA     Now stop! You work till seven, oblige me to eat at eight, then you go right back out again. You might at least keep me company for the short time you are  here. Come!
ANDREA     Right now?
GIULIA     Come here!
ANDREA     I'm drinking my coffee.
GIULIA     Then come drink it here. See, I've made a nice place for you.
ANDREA     (Goes and sits next to her )  Is this better?
GIULIA     Where is the "Art and Style"? Oh, look out; you're sitting on it. Up!  (Pulls the magazine out from under him.)  Have you seen this new ladies' hairstyle? All those feathers and ribbons in back, and so high off the crown. Lovely!  (Looks into Andrea's coffee cup )  Won't you give me a little?
ANDREA     I thought you didn't want coffee.
GIULIA     But yours is better. Just a drop. No, you give it to me -- in the spoon.
ANDREA     (Indulgently.)  What a child you are!
GIULIA     One spoonful at a time. It's nice like this, isn't it?
ANDREA     (Gets up and puts the cup on the table.)  Very nice.  (Giulia utters a little cry.)  What is it?
GIULIA     I have an itch! Come and scratch it. Hurry!
ANDREA     (Again sitting next to her.)  Where?
GIULIA     Here, on my hand -- gently! No no, not the palm. You're hurting me, you beast! Look at that scratch. Kiss it, quick.
ANDREA     (Kisses her hand.)  Better?  (Rises.)
GIULIA     Where are you going?
ANDREA     To fetch the paper.
GIULIA     I said, no reading the paper.
ANDREA     I only want to look at the notices.
GIULIA     But I said no! What do you care? Always your precious stocks and securities! Your only security is me, do you undertand? Stay here, close to me, I'm cold. You do know I'm feeling a bit under the weather today?
ANDREA     Oh -- are you?
GIULIA     And it's your duty to cure me. Must you go out tonight?
ANDREA     I want to drop by the Exchange. Don't you want to go out, too?
GIULIA     Where?
ANDREA     I don't know. I'll take you wherever you want to go; then I'll fetch you later, when I come back from the Exchange.
GIULIA     (Taking up the paper.)  Let's see what's in the theatres. La Scala -- nothing tonight. Ugh! Claudio's Wife -- what an abomination! At the Verme there's Traviata  and Sieba -- oh, we promised Giannino we'd take him to the ballet. But it's too late today. Better to go on Saturday, then he can sleep late on Sunday since there's no school .... There's nothing interesting. What time is it? Half past eight. I could get dressed and go to the Viscardi's. But you'll forget to fetch me -- I know you! No -- I shall stay home, on one condition: that you go to the Exchange and come right back. Half an hour; no more. At quarter past nine you must be home. I shall have your tea ready here by the fire, and then we shall go to bed at ten like good children. All right? But take care not to be late! Don't come telling me stories about how your friends kept you. I shall not allow excuses. If someone wants to detain you, you must say: "My friends, I have a dear little wife waiting for me at home; I must leave you." Understand?
ANDREA     (Smiling.)  Understood.  (He rises with a pained expression and stands for a moment on stiffened legs.)
GIULIA     You see! Even you feet want to rest. You overexert yourself. It's only eight days since you left your sickbed, and already you forget to take care of yourself. Just yesterday the doctor said you might recover quickly, but you mustn't overdo.
ANDREA     I'm not exerting myself at all; it's only that I've been sitting so long.
GIULIA     Was that our bell? Who could it be?
ANDREA     Giacomo, most likely, with the dispatches.
TERESA     (Entering.)  The lawyer Velati.
ANDREA     Show him in -- no, wait a moment.  (To Giulia.)  Oughtn't we to receive him in the salon?
GIULIA     Oh, no, it's so nice in here.  (To Teresa.)  Show him in.
ANDREA     But the table hasn't been cleared.
GIULIA     No matter!

END SCENE

Scene 2   
GIULIA, ANDREA, GUSTAVO, TERESA
 
GUSTAVO     Good evening, Signora!  (To Andrea.)  How are things? How is your foot?
ANDREA     Much better, thanks.
GUSTAVO     But I see I've come at a bad time -- you're still at table --
ANDREA     No, no, we finished some time ago. Forgive us, rather, for receiving you in here.
GIULIA     Yes, my husband wanted to receive you in the salon. I however, consider you enough of a friend to do away with such formalities.
GUSTAVO     I'm glad of that.
ANDREA     Coffee?
GUSTAVO     Thank you.
ANDREA     Thank you, yes, or thank you, no?  (Signals to Teresa, who has started to clear the table. She exits.)  (To Giulia.)  You know, if I offered him my own wife, he wouldn't refuse me!
GUSTAVO     I would say you couldn't make a better offer.
GIULIA     You would say that to my husband?  (Pours the coffee which Teresa has just brought in upon re-entering.)  Confidentially, you might say something a bit less --
GUSTAVO     Less banal?
GIULIA     Drink your coffee, and you may avoid answering me.  (To Andrea.)  And you, don't stay standing. You'll tire yourself! At least use your stick. Where is it?  (Finds it in a corner and gives it to him.
ANDREA     You treat me as if I were an invalid.
GIULIA     (To Gustavo.)  Please sit down.
GUSTAVO     Thank you.  (They all sit. Teresa exits.)  My dear Campiani, I'd hoped to find you at home. I know you usually go to the Exchange at this hour, but I wanted to have a word before you left.
ANDREA     I'm at your service.
GIULIA     Oh, is this business? Then I'll leave.
GUSTAVO     Not at all -- in fact, please stay.
GIULIA     Are you consulting my husband as a friend or as a stockbroker? Because if it's the latter, I can advise you just as well: don't buy sugar; it's falling. I heard it from my husband a little while ago, and everyone says he may be trusted.
ANDREA     Thank you.
GUSTAVO     Actually, I'm consulting you as a friend -- as friends -- and frankly, I have more faith in friendship than in finances.
GIULIA     I forgive you that lack of faith in view of your faith in our friendship.
ANDREA     What a chatterbox! Let him speak!
GIULIA     Oh, yes, because you must leave soon; your precious Exchange is waiting.
GUSTAVO    Then again, I don't wish to trouble you. It can wait till tomorrow; I'll come to your office.
GIULIA     No no, I only said tht because we've made a pact. He must go and come back immediately -- and I'll brook no excuses!
ANDREA     Chatter, chatter, chatter!  (To Gustavo.)  Go ahead, my friend; don't let us interrupt you.
GUSTAVO     Here it is. As you know, my brother Adolfo has been a colleague of yours these three months --
ANDREA     Yes, he's a hard worker. Never misses a day.
GUSTAVO     Do you know the sort of work he does?
ANDREA     Not exactly. I know he's in business for himself.
GUSTAVO     That's what troubles me. Adolfo has always been a bit of a scatterbrain. He's twenty-five and still financially unsettled. I finally decided to heed to old proverb, "Half advice, half money," so I gave him the necessary capital to open an office. He had been working in a bank for three years. To hear him talk you'd think he was Rothschild; but I'm worried, for I've been told he takes all sorts of risks. I shouldn't want him to come to any grief.
ANDREA     Yes, I've heard he's a bit of a gambler.
GUSTAVO     Is he in any danger? You see, I ask you as an old friend -- if you choose to tell or warn me. Do I ask too much of you?
ANDREA     Of course not! I'm happy to help. But, you see, it isn't easy -- we colleagues don't confide very much in one another.
GUSTAVO     But you have so much authority! You're a veteran at the Exchange --
GIULIA     You make my husband sound so old!
GUSTAVO     I'm speaking of his experience, his shrewdness, his reputation --
ANDREA     Please!  (Rising.)  You may rely on me.
GUSTAVO     Thank you so much.  (Rising.)  And please forgive the intrusion, but this thing has been worrying me quite. I'm rather the father figure to my brother.
GIULIA     Are you going , Andrea, really? Can't you do without?
ANDREA     You know I can't.
GIULIA     Really, truly?
ANDREA     Unfortunately.
GIULIA     All right, then ... but mind, it is now half-past eight. By quarter past nine I want you back home!
ANDREA     I shall do my best.
GIULIA     No excuses!
ANDREA     (Good-humouredly.)  Giulia, Giulia!  (To Gustavo.)  Don't ever marry, will you?
GIULIA     What's this? What did you say? You would dare regret having married?
ANDREA     (Laughing.)  Of course not. Come, now!
GIULIA     You must kiss me and ask forgiveness.
ANDREA     (Kissing her brow.)  Such a child!
GIULIA     (Going to the US door.)  Teresa? Teresa? Fetch the master's hat and coat. Heavens, it's chilly. It's starting to snow. Take a taxi, won't you?  (Enter Teresa with hat and coat. Giulia solicitously helps Andrea put them on.)  And you, Velati, won't you stay and keep me company until Andrea returns?
ANDREA     (To Teresa.)  What's Giannino up to?
TERESA     He's playing in the clothes closet.
ANDREA     Tell him to study his lesson. Forgive, me, Velati; we really are treating you as an old friend. Have a smoke; there are cigars on the table.  (Extending his hand.)  I'll see you in a little while?
GIULIA     Oh, yes, he won't leave till you return. Mind you return in good time, because Velati is dangerous.
GUSTAVO     Do you want me to go away?
ANDREA     See you soon, then.  (Exits.)
GIULIA     (At the door.)  Be careful. Take a taxi!  (To Teresa, who has resumed clearing the table.)  Leave it and finish later. Go see that Giannino studies his lesson.  (Teresa exits.)
 
END SCENE
 
[To be continued in a later post.]



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