One Grammar Nazi's Biggest Pet Peeve

Now I lay me down to sleep.
Now I will lie down to sleep.

I am lying down to sleep now.
I am laying myself down to sleep now.
I lay down to sleep yesterday.
And I also laid me down to sleep yesterday.

I wish I had laid me down to sleep a long time ago.
I wish I had lain down to sleep a long time ago.

I will lay the book on the table.
The book will lie on the table.

Right now, I'm laying the book on the table.
Right now, the book is lying on the table.

I laid the book on the table yesterday.
The book lay on the table yesterday.

I wish I had laid the book on the table.
I wish the book had lain on the table.

     Okay, I ain't perfect. Lord knows I make my fair share of grammatical errors. But one thing I have straight is the lie/lay issue. I know, in the deepest regions of my heart and mind, that "lie" is an intransitive verb, and "lay" is a transitive verb and therefore requires a direct object. I also know that the past tense of "lay" is "laid"; the past tense of "lie" is "lay"; and the past participle of "lie" is "lain," and the past participle of "lay" is "laid" (as if things weren't confusing enough). I've learned to hold my tongue when I hear people say "lay" when they mean "lie," and I've also learned to hold my typing fingers when I see people on Facebook post "lay" when they mean "lie."

     But it sure feels good to vent in a blogpost.